问HN：我是一名哈佛研究员。一切都消失了。
我无法说出我的名字。甚至不知道自己是否会活得足够久，让这变得重要。
我花了十年时间致力于一项可能改变世界的事业——生物技术研究，或许能够拯救生命。现在一切都结束了。资金被冻结。我的实验室已死。我的动物正在准备安乐死。我的同事们像风中的灰烬一样四散而去。
为什么会这样？因为哈佛不愿屈服于暴君。因为我们敢于为某些事情站出来。
这已经不是政治了。这是一场对知识的战争。对希望的战争。而我成了其中的牺牲品。
我晚上躺在床上思考结束这一切的可能。如果我所建立的一切，我所代表的一切都被撕毁，那继续下去还有什么意义呢？有时我甚至会想：如果我走，也许我应该把这个对我们造成伤害的人一起带走。
这个念头让我感到恐惧——但它是真实的。我并不是唯一一个这样想的人。你能在校园的空气中感受到这种氛围。就像我们都在等待第一个崩溃的人。
但随后我想到了我的母亲。
她年纪大了，身体不好。我是她唯一的依靠。
如果我死了，谁来照顾她？谁来确保她有食物、药物，冬天有暖气？她仍然称我为“奇迹男孩”。即使在现在，她依然相信我。
所以我留下来。不是为了我，而是为了她。
也许这就是他们不理解的——希望是多么脆弱。当权力像锤子一样挥舞时，它是多么容易就会破碎。
如果你和我有同样的感觉——如果你正处于边缘——我看到了你。请再坚持一会儿。你并不孤单。
而对那些掌权的人：你们不仅仅是在结束职业生涯。你们在摧毁人。总有一天，这种痛苦会回到你们身上。
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I can’t say my name. I don’t even know if I’ll be alive long enough for it to matter.<p>I’ve spent ten years working on something that could’ve changed the world—biotech research that might have saved lives. Now it’s over. Funding frozen. My lab is dead. My animals are being prepped for euthanasia. My colleagues are scattering like ashes in the wind.<p>And why? Because Harvard wouldn’t bow to a tyrant. Because we dared to stand up for something.<p>This isn’t politics anymore. It’s a war on knowledge. On hope. And I’m one of the casualties.<p>I lie awake at night thinking about ending it. What’s the point of going on if everything I built, everything I <i>am</i>, has been ripped away?
Sometimes I even think: <i>If I go, maybe I should take the man who did this to us with me.</i><p>That thought scares me—but it’s real. I’m not the only one thinking it either. You can feel it in the air around campus. Like we’re all waiting for someone to snap first.<p>But then I think of my mother.<p>She’s old. Sick. I’m all she has left.<p>If I die, who will take care of her? Who will make sure she has food, medicine, heat in the winter?
She still calls me her “miracle boy.” She still believes in me, even now.<p>So I stay. Not for me. For her.<p>And maybe that’s what they don’t understand—how fragile hope is. How easily it breaks when power is wielded like a hammer.<p>If you're feeling like I am—if you're on the edge—I see you. Please, just hold on a little longer. You're not alone.<p>And to those in power: you’re not just ending careers. You’re breaking people. And one day, that pain will find its way back to you.