问HN：搞砸了，无法追赶上来
我在生活中搞砸了。我在一个小众领域工作，感觉自己无法跟上进步的步伐。在我居住的地方，我的薪水算是相当不错的。如果我失去这份工作，我就再也找不到其他工作了。我基本上是失业状态。现在为美国客户工作。
我理解研究论文，也理解代码，但我无法在一周内复现它们。即使有源代码，复现一篇论文也非常困难。然后我看到有人在赞美那些刚刚起步的博主。这让我开始质疑自己的存在。
我不知道自己究竟是在哪个环节出错了。我是懒惰吗？我每天在屏幕前待12个小时，却总是分心。我必须努力工作以完成每周的任务量。专注的工作时间只有6到8小时，剩下的时间都是不专注的工作。
生活中获得任何东西都很困难。生活感觉如此麻木。人工智能正在吞噬我曾经擅长的领域。我开始质疑自己是否真的学到了什么，还是仅仅知道一些东西。
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I messed up with life. I work in a niche and I feel like I can't catch up with progress. I earn fairly decent salary for where I live. If I lose this job, I won't have another one. I am basically jobless. Working for US client.<p>I understand research papers, I understand the code, but I can't replicate it in a week.
It's very hard to replicate a paper even with source available.
Then I read people praising blogs from someone who is barely getting started.
It puts me in a situation where I question my whole existence.
I do not know when and where I messed up.
Am I just lazy? I am in front of a screen 12 hours a day. I am distracted. I have to work to meet my weekly quota. Focused work is 6-8 hours and remaining is unfocused work.
It's very hard to get anything in life. Life feels so numb.
AI is eating what I was skilled at. I started questioning if I ever learnt anything or just knew stuff.